My child's clothes dipped in porcelain, displayed in an Antique 'End of Bed' Cabinet, with hinged top & Glass insert.
As a mother, I have felt a great need to hold onto material things, as memories, particularly those 'first' things, such as clothing, her rotting Navel and hand made cord tie that fell off five days after birth, her new born 'down' from the back of her head taken from her blanket, the first eye lashes that fell upon her cheek, the first cut of her finger nails, first photographs of her doing things for the first time, videos of her eating foods for the first time. This has continued and has become obsessive, I have become afraid of loss, what am I losing? I'm losing my baby. She is becoming independent and that scares me. I'm afraid of her not wanting me, her not loving me, her not needing me. Are these items really a sweet sentiment? or do they display deep anxiety and the fear of loss
Although I had tried to conceive for 18 months, when I finally became pregnant, I began to suffer from Antenatal Depression, I feared my new life & it's limitations as a Mother Artist, I suffered Nausea until the fifth month of pregnancy and at 14 weeks my beloved dog died. I documented my pregnancy through self portraits in Photography.